The Lady of Lake Santo
by thatcrazygingernerdgirl
Summary: Cas is a mortal now, and is working on a case with Sam and Dean about a drowned child. But, when they discover it's a water spirit they're up against, and the terrible price they must pay for disturbing it, who will make the ultimate sacrifice? Told from Cas' perspective and Destiel.
1. Priceless

**AN: Okay, okay I know! I should be writing the crossover, but bleh. Stuff that. You know those nights when you lie awake tossing and turning, writing in your head? It was one of those nights. Sorry for typos and stuff. And yeah, I don't own my babies, even though I wish I did. ****And thanks to the awesome person who persuaded me to write this fic. You're awesome, dude.**

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4 weeks and 6 days. I had been counting. 4 weeks, and 6 days since I had become human. Four weeks and six days since I had Fallen, and lost my Grace. I was as human as Sam or Dean now, a mortal, now able to die of natural causes and extreme injury. The strange thing is, I do not mind. I miss my days as an Archangel, but not to the extent that life here on Earth is not worth it. I like being normal. In some ways, it has improved my life. It has strengthened my bond with Dean. He treats as another brother now, but I feel sometimes that I want more than that. I do not tell Dean that, of course. News like that may shatter our strong, but delicate bond altogether. Right now, I am very happy with my existence.

"Child drowns as friend watches, LakeSanto, North Santo Reserve,'" Dean read, and then plopped the paper onto the table. I jumped at the sound and looked up from my book.

"I'm sorry?" I asked, putting it down.

"Kid drowned yesterday evening," repeated Dean. "It says his friend saw him jump in and was staring at something that he couldn't see. In a trance or something," I nodded. "Sound suspicious or what?"

"Dean, I don't think 'what' is word used to describe a situation. It's just suspicious." I corrected. Dean let out a laugh and I looked around to Sam. I frowned at him with my ever present 'confused' face at the moment, and he shrugged and smirked at me. I could not understand why incorrect language was so funny to them.

"Oh, Cas, you still have a lot to learn, buddy," Dean said, clapping a hand on my shoulder. "It's just an expression, okay?" I smiled awkwardly at him.

"Um… I think so…" I said. Dean got up and turned to Sam.

"Should we investigate?" he asked and Sam nodded.

"Yeah, it does sound like something supernatural happened. Kids don't just jump into water, especially older ones like that one. They have pretty good common sense by that age. Here, give me a second," he reached for the paper and tapped away on the laptop. "There," Sam pointed to a more lengthy article that had come onto the screen. "Says his friend's name was Eddie Blasnyk. That's pretty unusual, so we should find them in the directory." I reached for the thick book that was on the sideboard in the motel room and looked under B.

"It's in here," I said and showed them the number, my finger tracing underneath it. Dean rang it on his mobile phone.

"Uh, hello, is that the Blasnyk household? Uh… yeah, so sorry about Eddie's friend, poor kid. I'm agent Green, from the FBI, I was wondering if my partners and I could come and interview little Eddie?... We'd like some notes on what he saw happen… Yeah… Uh-huh… of course, yes, yes… okay… We'll see you in about 2 hours? Okay… Goodbye Mrs Blansnyk," he cancelled the call. "We're expected there about 6 o'clock, so make yourselves presentable. Just follow us, Cas, and you'll be fine, okay? I've already made a fake ID for you," Dean handed me a card from his jacket pocket. "You're Agent Novak. Understand?"

"Yes, Dean." He clapped me on the arm, giving me one of the smiles that made my heart flutter.

"You'll be awesome, buddy, don't worry. Soon it will come naturally to you."

* * *

"Dean?" I tapped him lightly on his shoulder.

"What?"

"I-I feel strange without my coat. Was it really necessary to take it off?" I asked. He smiled.

"It's just because you're used to wearing it all the time. You can have it on afterwards, it's just for the 'FBI image'," Sam rapped on the door. "Now, Cas, when the chick opens the door, pull your card out like us," Dean mimed pulling the card from his breast pocket of his suit. I copied him, pulling the cardboard out enthusiastically. "Yeah! That's it, good going." The door opened, and Sam and Dean pulled out their passes. I yanked mine out, thrusting it into the woman's face.

"Agent Novak! FBI!" I said loudly. The woman blinked at me, and Sam pulled my arm down.

"Uh, Rookie, ma'am. Still learning, just excuse him." The woman narrowed her eyes at me.

"Hmmm, right," she looked to the others. "Come in, Agents," she gestured for us to enter. Sam and Dean filed through, but I stayed on the porch.

"Cas?" hissed Dean. "_Come_ on! What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm looking at the house. You said I needed to study everything in-" Dean yanked my arm and pulled me through. The woman put her hands on her hips and looked strangely at me.

"Very new, work experience," Sam assured and laughed nervously. The woman rolled her eyes for a fraction of a second before thinking better of it.

"So, you're Mrs Blasnyk?" asked Dean. The woman nodded.

"Yes, my son Eddie was Andy's best friend," she glanced through a door way and we craned our necks to see into the room. A boy that looked about ten, was staring out of the window, into the back garden. Dean nodded and took notes in his notebook. "Andy was a good kid, but never a patch on our Eddie," she cast another glance at the boy. "But, he's just been sat there since yesterday. He won't sleep or eat, and he won't say anything more than a couple of words. I'm going to take him to counselling tomorrow, but please be gentle with him. Maybe uh, maybe one of the more experienced agents should question him? He's just so confused at the moment-"

"Say no more, ma'am, agent Wesson is great with children. Just excuse me and Novak here, I just need to explain to him about cases with children. The rules and stuff," he said vaguely. Mrs Blasnyk nodded and followed Sam into the living room. Dean grabbed my wrist and pulled me into the kitchen. "Look, Castiel, you need to watch us, okay? We can't take any chances, if they find out," he looked around and leaned in closer, his voice a whisper. "If they find out we're not the real cops, we're all screwed. I appreciate that this all new to you, but just try and behave. Don't say anything, unless I say, comprende?"

"Com-what?"

"Never mind." I followed him back into the living room. Dean gave one of his smiles at Mrs Blasnyk. She had her hands folded in front of her, watching Sam as he kneeled next to Eddie, so he could look into his face. I could hear them talking quietly. Dean clasped his hands behind him and rocked gently, tapping his foot as he waited. I tried to copy, but the rocking was difficult to master, and I sent a china vase flying.

"CAS! WHAT THE HELL?!" Everyone turned to look at me. I shuffled to the side, trying to move away from the smashed fragments on the carpet. Dean was fuming.

"Look, just go and wait in the car!" he pushed me roughly by the shoulder. I looked at him, wounded, but his jaw clenched, and I knew it was wise to do as he wanted. As soon as I was outside the house, I ripped the ID into tiny shreds and stuffed them into my pockets. I pulled my coat on, tugging it around me and relaxing in the familiar beige fabric. Angrily, I slammed the car door shut and sat in the silence, my ears buzzing. I didn't dare mess with the radio, if it was moved off it's usual station, either Sam or I were going to be ended. I sat in the back seat, looking around and fiddling with a loose thread on my coat. Eventually, there was movement from the porch, and Dean and Sam were stood outside the door, bidding farewell to Mrs Blasynk. I shut my eyes as they both strode up to the car. The awkward silence as they both climbed in and shut the doors said it all.

"I'm sorry, Dean…" I said quietly. No answer. I sighed and stared at my hands. All of us sat for another ten minutes.

"Castiel, we understand that you're finding it hard adjusting, but that was crazy. I'm sorry, but if you're serious about becoming a hunter with us, you're going have to do your research. That can't happen again, okay?" It was Sam. He turned around in his seat and gave me a half smile.

"I am sorry," I repeated and he waved it off.

"I know. But, just try not to knock any more priceless, original works of art over any time soon." I laughed a little and Sam smiled properly at me. But, the stormy silence coming from the driver's seat still bothered me. Had I really done it this time?


	2. Hitchhikers

**AN: EEEHHHHH! GET ME, TWO CHAPTERS IN ONE DAY, WHOOP WHOOP! Also, if you get the aliens and towels reference, I officially love you. And, if you don't, why haven't you read this book?!**

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Later that day, I sat cross legged on my bed, reading my book again. It was very interesting, one that Sam had dug out for me. He said it had been one of his favourites. It was about a man called Arthur and his best friend was an alien called Ford and they all seemed be very interested in towels. It was still very good. Sam and Dean were talking over at the table, the light of the laptop screen illuminating their faces. Every now and then, they would look to me, and see I was watching them, and both hastily turn back to the screen. Suddenly there was a sudden "Yes!" from Sam.

"Hey, Cas, come over here," said Dean, waving a hand at me. I decided the vase incident was forgiven and scooted off the bed and came and stood next to him. "It's water spirit," he pointed to a picture of what looked like a woman made of water.

"How did you know?" Sam pulled a piece of folded paper out of his pocket.

"After you went out to the car, Dean and Mrs Blasnyk went into the kitchen to make coffee or something, and Eddie suddenly said that he was lying and had seen something, but he didn't think anyone would believe him. He drew what he saw in my notebook, and said he could hear her, but he wasn't affected by her," he waved the piece of paper. "This is what he saw." I studied the page. He brought up several images on the screen, and some information.

"So, water spirits…" Dean read. He murmured under his breath, taking in the text. "It says a hostage is not completely drowned until twenty-four hours after they have been submerged. She surrounds them with a bubble of some sort, slowly draining them until they're dead. Then she doesn't need another hostage for anther ten years," he searched through the papers on the desk before holding one up triumphantly. Dean stabbed at a headline. "Ten years ago, another kid drowned in Santo Lake. I'm guessing she was the previous hostage. But, if Andy jumped in yesterday, about 6 in the evening that means that we have a maximum of three or four hours." He looked at Sam and I. "We have to leave, now. Santo Reserve is about half an hour away, so we need to get a head start." Dean slammed the laptop screen down, making Sam wince. He pulled on his jacket, and threw Sam's at him.

"Are you ready Cas?"

"Yes, just give me a moment!" I called as they made their way down the steps. I had noticed a page of my book had been lodged between the screen and base, so I carefully lifted it out. And then, as I casually peered at the webpage still displayed, I saw a couple of lines that nearly made my heart stop. I shut it quickly, and raced down the flights of steps, two at a time, my heart pounding.

* * *

"Dean! Dean, I have to tell you something!" I shouted, sprinting towards him. They both turned around, the keys to the Impala in Dean's hand. "It's about the water spirit! We have to-" I ran full throttle into him, the keys twisting and scratching against the Impala's black paint. Sam hands went up a moment to late and Dean shoved me off quickly. I fell onto the tarmac, feeling my elbows bruise. Dean spun around and started rubbing at the ugly silver scar, cursing.

"Dude, calm down!" said Sam, but Dean continued to fuss over the car. After several minutes spent cursing, he turned to me and hauled me up.

"You scratched my car. You. Scratched. My. _Frigging_. Car." He growled at me. I shrank away slightly.

"I am sorry, Dean! I didn't mean to-"

"My car. My beautiful car."

"Dean, please you are hurting me!" I pushed him away, and Sam put a steady hand on his brother's shoulder.

"Both of you, just stop it! Dean, I know how important the car is, yeah, yeah, and Cas, you need to learn to walk like a normal person, but that kid is slowly drowning and we need to save him. So can both of you stop being morons, and work together?" He stared at both of us, eyebrows raised. I looked wide eyed at him. Dean climbed into the car, slamming the door shut. Sam sighed a little and got in next to him, leaving me standing awkwardly next the car. Dean rolled his window down slightly.

"Are going to get in?" He asked sharply.

"Yes, I am." I gingerly climbed into the back seat, trying to make as little disruption as possible. I had to tell them what I'd seen, but now seemed not the time. They wouldn't want to listen anyway. I stayed quiet, cracking each of my knuckles over and over again to pass the time. Dean turned to radio up, and he and Sam continued to stare at the dusty road infront of us. I looked out of the window, and after a while, starting seeing signs for Santo Reserve.

"Dean?" I asked quietly. "The Reserve is-"

"Yeah, I know, Castiel. It's four miles away, I can read." Was the blunt reply. I sighed and leaned against the back of the seat. Soon enough, he pulled into the entrance of the Reserve. Sam tapped his watch.

"Five o'clock, Dean. We've got one more hour." Dean nodded, slammed his door shut, running his calloused hands over the scratch. I winced as he gave another throaty growl and turned on his heel, marching towards the direction of the lake. Sam shoved his hands in his pockets, and cocked his head at me in the direction of Dean. I followed him down the path, my coat catching on the undergrowth. We came to a long wooden jetty and Dean held up the newspaper, comparing the black and white photo on the cover to the jetty.

"We're in the right place," he called over his shoulder to Sam, and I jogged after him to platform.

"Dean! Please listen to me," I said quickly. "It is of great import you listen carefully. There was a link the laptop that you clicked by accident when you slammed the lid down. To successfully rescue a water spirit's hostage, you must replace it with another individual, otherwise she will kill everyone within the walls of her territory, that's everybody in the park." I finished. Dean and Sam stared at me, mouths open.

"Why the hell didn't you tell us before?!" I looked down at the stones on the floor.

"Uh… I thought that you were angry with me…" I said quietly. Dean put a hand to his forehead, sighing deeply.

"Cas, look I probably over-reacted but, for God's sake, we need to know stuff like that!"

"I know. I am very sorry." I mumbled. Dean squatted down a little, his head in his hands. Sam and I gathered around him. He looked up at both of us.

"Can't we get somebody else willing to do it, like Nancy did?" Sam shook his head. "No, we haven't got time," Dean groaned.

"Me." He said.

"No." Sam and I said in unison.

"Yes."

"No, Dean!" said Sam.

"Sammy, not you. I've already lost you too many times before, not again." Dean shook his head, his eyes shining. Sam bit his lip and pinched his nose.

"But Dean, I'd have to live without you. I can't do that either,"

"I will," I said clearly. Silently, their heads swivelled to me.

"Cas-"

"It seems I am the only one that is able to do it." I gave them a small smile. "I won't be missed, I am very sure." Dean stood up and pulled me into a tight hug.

"Cas, you are incredibly brave, you know that?" he said.

"I am not brave, I am a coward," I said, "I could not the thought of life without either of you." Dean laughed and clapped me hard on the back, almost winding me.

"Oh God, I'm going to miss you, man." He said. He wiped his sleeve over his eyes for a second before returning to his usual self. He ran along the jetty and threw a huge stone into the lake. It splashed into the water with a loud plopping sound. "Come out and show yourself, you stupid bitch!" he yelled. Suddenly, the ground started to shake, and a high and silvery voice filled my ears.

_How dare you insult me, I am the Lady of __Lake__Santo__, and what right do you have to disturb me?_

"Can you hear that?" I shouted over the sound of her voice. I covered my ears, trying to block it out.

"Cas, why are you shouting?" asked Dean. "There's nothing there. The ground just shook, that was it."

"Can't you hear her? The Lady, she's right there," I pointed to where the Lady stood, looking like a majestic ice statue, floating above the surface of the lake. Dean opened his mouth and frowned.

"No. Are you saying you can hear her speaking? Like Andy and Eddie did?" I nodded.

"Very loudly."

"Well tell her this," he cupped his mouth and cried out: "You better be ready, you son of a bitch, because we're going to save that kid!" The spirit screamed in anger and smashed her clenched fists against the lake, sending giant waves towards us.

_NO! No, you can't have him!_

"She didn't like that, Dean!" I cried. He shrugged, his hair being blown back from his face from the sudden wind that was whipping our faces. Sam glanced at his watch.

_No! No you can't! No you can't!_

I covered my ears.

"Cas, we have ten minutes!" he yelled. "You have to go now!" I struggled against the wind. I was going to die, and I couldn't die without telling Dean.

"Dean Winchester, I love you!" Was all I could say before Dean grabbed the collar of my coast and pulled me towards him. Our lips met and it felt like the world had stood still. I leaned into him, longing to keep his sweet, warm lips on mine forever. But, I couldn't. I had a job to do. We pulled apart and he smiled at me.

"Go on, Cas. Go save that kid." I ran up the jetty, and as I got to the end, I jumped off. For a moment, I wondered if my wings would unfold like they had before I had Fallen. But they didn't, and I plummeted into the lake, the cold water shocking me. As I slowly sank down, I cast one last glance at the rippling surface of the water, before turning back to the deep black bottom, and the task of rescuing Andy.

* * *

**AN: HAH! A wonderful cliff hanger for you all to steam over mwuhahahahahaha! I seem to have a thing about drowning, if you've read any other fanfics of mine.**


	3. Breathless

**AN: Yay, chapter 3! Reviews much appreciated!**

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I swam through the dark torrents, my breath starting to ache in my chest. I knew I had to find Andy soon, before I drowned. I was no longer immortal; death was a threat to me now. I continued to push forward, my eyes stinging. And then I saw him, down at the very bottom of the lake, pale and limp. He was surrounded by a large bubble, floating around inside disconcertingly. I swam towards him. I had read over Dean's shoulder, and I had to touch his hand for the change to happen. I reached out my hand, and it slipped through the barrier. Extending my arm, I gripped hold of his small hand, and there was a sudden white light. I was blinded, and felt a gripping sensation in my stomach, pulling me forwards. I shut my eyes, trying to block it out and when I opened them again, I was in the bubble. Andy stared at me from the other side, and I pointed upwards.

"Go!" I tried to say and he nodded at me and kicked upwards, his legs flailing. I could fell my breath tightening in my chest, and I knew time was running out before I was a hostage. A thought cam into my head: If you had 24 hours, couldn't Dean come back with another person and replace me? Just as it crossed my mind, The Lady filled my ears again.

_That only works with children. You're not escaping from me._

I cursed and a loud noise and splash from the surface made me look up. A long, gangly figure was paddling towards me, dark hair floating around: Sam. I shook me head desperately as he swam towards me. "No! No, go back up!" I waved my arms. He gave me another sympathetic smile and reached out his large hand. I shook my head. "No, it won't work!" The Lady was cackling in my head, enjoying the pathetic attempts. Sam reached out his hand further, and I opened my mouth.

_NO! No, how does that work? You can't do that!_

He smiled again and looked down at his hand and then back to me. "Go on," he mouthed. "Take it."

"No, I can't, Dean won't cope!" Sam sighed and grabbed my clenched fist. The white light blared in my face again, and I screwed up my eyes again. As I carefully opened them, one by one, I saw Sam inside the bubble. My breath was scorching my lungs now, but he gave me one last smile. "Go." I shook my head final time, but my body was screaming. I had to give in. I powered through the water, begging to reach the top. I was so near, and I nearly screamed as my hand broke the wavy surface. I flailed around, trying to grab the jetty. My hand met a hard wooden plank, and I gripped it hard, and hauled myself up.

"Cas, oh my God!" I heard Dean thunder along the jetty and grab me by the arm. He pulled me onto the wooden planks and I lay on them, trying to regain my breath. I wiped the lake water from my eyes, water dripping onto my cheeks and face from my hair.

"Dean… Sam he… he jumped in…" I gasped.

"I know, I know, I told him no, I tried to stop him!" Dean sucked in his breath. "That kid, God, I always knew he was stupid. Damnit, Sam!" he thumped the boards, holding back tears and I leaned over, heaving up, what seemed like, gallons of water. Dean patted my back, rubbing it "Can we get him back?"

"No. I already thought about that, but the Lady corrected me. She read my mind, it only works with children."

"How did Sam do it to you then? Must have been your freaky angel-ness or something..."

"Dean, I told you, I am not an angel any more. I am Fallen." Dean blinked back tears, trying to smile and clapped my arm, shaking his head.

"Oh Cas, even when you're nearly half dead, you're still correcting me." I smiled.

"Uh, sir? I'm real cold," It was Andy. He was sat with his knees up to his chest, shivering, his dark hair in his eyes. Dean took off his jacket and draped it around his shoulders.

"Sorry, kid. We should get you home to your Mom." He helped him up and steered him to the car. I stood at the edge of the jetty, staring out to the lake, where Sam was still held captive. Soon, he would loose consciousness for the last time, and be stuck in a limbo between life and death before she drained him completely. Dean returned and put a hand on my shoulder. "Oh godammnit Sammy," he sighed. He wiped his eyes and shoved them into his pockets. He kicked a stray stone into the lake. "I hope you're happy with my little brother, you bitch!"

"Come on Dean," it was my turn to comfort him. I hovered for a second, wondering what to do and then threw my arms around him. He stiffened for a moment, and then let me hug him. "Dean… about what happened…" Dean put a finger to my lips.

"I know," I felt him grip my hand. "But it's okay… I think. Are you okay with it?" I nodded.

"I am more than 'okay' with it, Dean." I said. He smiled, his eyes still shining.

"Come on, we better get Andy home." I got to sit in the front seat. I felt so guilty, it was pushed far back for Sam's legs to fit and it creaked anciently as I pulled it forwards. Dean winced but bit his lip and concentrated on the road. Even though we were talking and I had been forgiven, the drive was still even more uncomfortable than the one to the lake. A thick silence hovered in the air, and I was thankful Andy was tactful and did not ask questions.

* * *

Dean knocked on the door and put his hands on Andy's shoulders. He shivered slightly.

"Your mom might do some strange things, but don't worry, we're here, okay?" Andy frowned.

"What do you mean-" The door opened. A man and woman dressed all in black, their faces tearstained stood looking at us.

"Hello-" the woman's eyes caught Andy. "Oh my God, Jesus Christ… it's my Andy!"

"Hey Mom," the woman pulled Andy into a crushing hug.

"But- Eddie said he saw you jump in! How- How? Why?"

"Uh, ma'am, Andy slipped off the jetty, that's what he said and me and my brother here," I sharply inhaled. Brother, Dean had called me _brother_. "Found him washed up on one of the beaches. He looks like he's okay, no pneumonia. I'm guessing he'd been on the beach for longer than he'd been in the water." The woman let go of her son and planted a huge kiss on mine and Dean's cheeks.

"You saved our baby! How can I ever repay you? What are your names?" Dean shook his head.

"Nothing ma'am. And, I'm Leroy, and this is John. We're just in town for a couple of days." She nodded.

"Well, Leroy, John, thank you so much!" she thrust a $100 into Dean's hand. "Please, take this. It's the least I can do."

"That's real kind of you ma'am." We both shook hands with Andy's mother and father, and Dean patted Andy's head.

"Stay away from water, eh?" he said jokingly and then winked at Andy. Andy smiled. Once we'd got back to our motel, I sat on my bed reading more and Dean lay down his head in his pillow. And then I heard it: A heartbreaking sobbing and swearing into a pillow, his whole body shaking with each sob. I didn't know what to. I left him, guilt heavy in my heart, and turned over to my side, pulling the duvet over my head. I pretended to sleep and then I could hear him thumping his pillow and crying out louder. It brought tears to my ears, but I had to make sure he didn't know I was listening. I knew Dean had a habit of just holding everything in and only letting it show when he was sure nobody was looking. I wanted to comfort him, I really did. But it would only annoy him, and I would feel even guiltier. It seemed my existence was going downhill, and we were both sinking into depression.

* * *

The next day, we went back down to the lake. A family were sat, having a packed lunch on the jetty, but Dean came and stood by them, arms folded, until they moved. Then, he kicked his boots off and sat on the edge of the wood, feet brushing the still water.

"Why'd you do it, Sammy?" he asked to the lake. I came and sat by him and linked my hand in his. I squeezed it in affection and he smiled sadly. "I'm supposed to protect you. You were always soppy, you wanted me and Cas to get together, right?" he laughed, his voice cracking and I squeezed his hand again. "God, I always told you it would come to no good, didn't I?"

"I-" I felt very stupid to be talking to a large expanse of lake but still, Dean wasn't bothered. "I am very thankful, Sam," I said loudly. "Thank you for doing that."

"Yeah, I guess it was a bad deal with any combination, but, yeah, Samantha, thank you." I saw a ripple in the centre of the lake.

"Look, Dean, he's talking to us." I said. Dean leant his heard on my shoulder.

"Yeah. Yeah, I think he is." It became a custom for us to come down to the lake and talk to Sam for a whole week after he saved me. We talked about lots of things, and I could imagine him responding. I swam down to see him once. He looked strange: His long hair Dean had always ridiculed, floating lifelessly around his face, his eyes were shut and he was pale and blue lipped. It disturbed me and I decided I wouldn't do it again. Dean would sometimes swim down too, but he too came up, the remainder of the Sam we both knew too upsetting to look at. On the last day we were supposed to be in town, Dean asked me to leave him for a bit. I went into the woods, looking for animals and then I heard the same heartbreaking cry again. I peered through the firs, and saw him hunched up on the boards, face pressed against the wood. He was just screaming and crying Sam's name over and over again, apologising and begging him to come back. I stepped backwards and waited for him to finish, and then I ran over and hugged him tightly.

"Oh Cas, what am I going to do?"

"I do not know, Dean…"

"We should pack in this hunting lark… get a house or something. Be _normal_. Be something Sam could never be." I nodded.


	4. Epilogue

**AN: **

**Last Chapter! Thank you to everyone that has taken time to read this little fic, and to Hannah too. Enjoy!**

* * *

So, that was it. We bought small house, decorated it and made it almost homely. We stowed Sam's things that had been left in the motel, into a small cupboard under the stairs. Dean got a job as a mechanic; I got a job in the local library. We were living Sam's normalness for him. Everyday, Dean would come back oily and tousled, but he'd cook us something to eat, and then we would eat together and go up to bed. It was repetitive, nearly each day identical, but it was our lives now, we chose to live like that. Every half a year, we would drive back to Lake Santo and dangle our feet into the water by the jetty, just talking to Sam. About our lives, about how big a hole he'd left. Dean would cry, and I pat him and kiss him gently. On Sam's birthday, we scattered the leaves of a cheap, gas station salad pot. I enjoyed the silence, often bringing a book. It as we sat there, on visit, Dean turned to me and said 'Would you… uh… do you think adopting would be a good idea?'

"I… really?"

"Yeah. Some cute little kid, we'll bring him up proper, yeah?"

I tilted my head at him.

"I suppose…"

"Good! You'll see, Cas, we'll have our own little babe to cuddle and care for. Get away from the hunting crap, be your average, black and white couple." I agreed. That was how one day, Dean returned from work one day, with a small, chubby child wrapped in a blue blanket in his arms "Say hello to Samuel Winchester Jr!" he grinned. I took the child from him; this was going to be _my _son.

"Mmmm, ugh… ah, ah, Dada?" it gurgled. I smiled slightly and rubbed my finger along his cheek.

"Yes. I am your Dada," I said. The words were warm and happy on my tounge. "Dada," I repeated. Samuel smiled at me, and I grinned back, planting a kiss on his soft little forehead. "Dada…"

Samuel grew into an excitable toddler. I was patient with him, no one could be angry with a hyperactive little child. We decided to bring him to Sam's lake, so he could see his namesake and uncle. As we pulled in, Samuel shot out of the car and straight onto the end of the jetty. Dean ran after him, grabbing him as he teetered over the end.

"Hey, Samuel, calm down! I don't wanna lose you too…" he trailed off as Samuel stared at the centre of the lake.

"Uncle Sam?" he asked. We both nodded.

"Yeah. You see those bubbles? He's happy to see you!" explained Dean. "Your uncle's saying hello." Samuel toddled forward and shouted, "Hello Uncle Sam!" his small hands cupped around his little mouth. The lake bubbled again. We spent the day there, and it was only when the orange sun set late that evening, turning to the lake to a deep amber colour, did I realise what the time was. I looked down to the sleeping Dean leaning on my shoulder and the snuffling Samuel curled up on my lap and smiled. True happiness filled my heart and I rested my head on Dean's, deciding that my existence really was, rather enjoyable.


End file.
